ALL HAIL THE THREE MONTH TURKEY.
near the end of the year, on halloween, something magical happens. all the turkeys of the world gather together in Turkey, and have a vote to see who will become the legendary 3-month turkey. once the representative is chosen he is sacrificed and buried. then when night falls, he rises from his grave and is full of vengence. because he is the three month turkey, he has special powers that come in phases. his hatred of the turkeys that killed him grows into a special power that allows him to turn turkeys into candy. but only for one night. so he goes around turning the other turkeys into candy. and spreads them across western civilizations households to be given to kids. His hatred subsides just enough after one night that he cant turn Turkeys into candy anymore, but he’s a turkey with a vengeance. he then goes on a killing spree, killing as many turkeys as he can. these turkeys are then rounded up, sold, and served on thanksgiving day. finally, the 3 month turkey feels sorry for what he’s done, and tries to appease the spirits of the turkeys that he has slain, so he spends the entire month of december gathering up presents. But these presents are then gathered up by santa and his elves, and there is nothing the 3 month turkey can do about it. he is then for the rest of December, tormented by the angry spirits of the slain turkeys. But, once new years comes around, the 3 month turkey’s time has run out, and the earth opens up beneath him, swallowing him into the depths of hell, where he is dragged down by the very turkeys he sought to appease. but he now realizes he deserves this, and willing goes into the depths of hell.
For this one, I decided I wanted to change the planets into something else, because, hey, that shouldn’t be there!
I turned Pluto into Nick Nocturne, the host of a Youtube show I like about creepy stories online. I chose Pluto because Pluto is the Roman god of the underworld. I also turned Jupiter into Greg Farshtey, the main writer for Bionicle. He wrote basically the entirety of the Bionicle universe, as well as wrote for it even after the toyline ended. I made him Jupiter for no real reason, but I’m glad I did, because it fits his face perfectly. Then I made Reggie the Sun, because why not.
so apparently I looked at the assignment more closely, and I had to mash up two movie things. oops. well, I already did this, so I’m gonna stick with it.
Reggie thought that becoming president of Nintendo of America would free him from the pain and suffering from the war, but alas, the horrors of the great fish packaging wars still haunted him. As he is giving a presentation to nintendo shareholders, he catches the whiff of fish coming from one of the bussinessmen’s lunch. Tuna. Why’d it have to be tuna? suddenly Reggie has a flashback to his time in the war. He sees the fish he is fighting against. he see’s his friends. he hears the sound of gun fire and squishes. he smells the napalm and Tuna. Tuna. Tuna. Tuna.
The businessmen keep trying to snap Reggie out of it. He suddenly comes back. It was just a flashback. He’s back in the boardroom. He has a presentation to complete.